This is 40 - A 40th Birthday (Day 5)

Monday, May 4th

The day I both dreaded and planned for is here.  Today is my 40th birthday.  I don't feel any different.  I mean, it's not like I turned 40 and gained super powers (which I can't deny, I've been expecting to happen since my 13th birthday.  It's like TV lied to me!!  Evie Garland isn't the star of a documentary??).  It's just another day.  I've barreled into the next decade and nothing can be done to stop this from happening. 

So how do I accept the fact that I'm now 40??  By running away and having some light pampering.

One of the things I had wanted to do while I was here was to take a Meditation class.  The Athletic Center had a Meditation class scheduled at 7a.  At first, I was thinking this class was way too early in the morning to even consider taking.  But I hadn't counted on jet lag.

Danielle and I rolled out of bed and did the lightest of getting readys.  I mean, let's face it.  I have been rolling around Maui in various stages of looks that I wouldn't dream of sporting at home.  First off, I've worn shorts.  I haven't owned shorts in years.  The makeup sits unused in my bag.  I am not even combing my hair in the morning.  I forgot to brush my teeth on Saturday.  And I am leaving the room in my jammies.  Granted, my jammies consist of yoga pants, a sports bra and a tank top (hubba hubba, am I right boys??).  I mean, I am seen in public looking like this.  And I love it.  Though I won't be continuing this look once I get home.  Let's be real here.

So we were on our way to the Athletic Center for Meditation.  I did comb my hair, but it was still being ridiculous.  Other than one couple, dressed in their resort wear, we were in the majority.  Yoga pants for days.

Meditation.  I'm not entirely sure what to think of it.  The idea is great in theory.  And I do think I could be down for taking time for self-reflection.  Funny enough, I was reading the newest issue of Travel + Leisure (Of course I read travel magazines!!) and they wrote about an app used for meditation.  Maybe this is doable.  I left feeling pretty ok about things.

We stopped at the hotel's coffee bar for a breakfast of champions.  Chai and a strawberry white chocolate scone.  Yeah.  Where has this been all of my life??  And how long will I need to detox after this trip??  Answer:  So Long.

The next step of the day was very important.  We were celebrating Cabana: The Sequel.

Now, I mentioned the other day that my cabana experience was lacking.  I am now officially a Cabana Girl.  Future trips with a pool/beach focus will include a cabana.  No question.  Having the cabana was amazing.  I am now officially a Cabana Girl.  Future trips with a pool/beach focus will include a cabana.  No question.  But I had a few issues with the service the other day.  So I emailed the concierge who helped me prior to arrival.  She was very gracious and invited me to spend another day in the cabana, no charge.  Done.

So what did I do??  I laid in the cabana like a slug.  Danielle went running or did something athletic.  I didn't.  I'd like to blame it on my birthday, but the reality is I wouldn't have done anything athletic had there been a gun to my head.  And that's why I gain an average of 3 lbs on vacation (this one HAS to be on the higher end of this average...but we're not thinking about that right now).  I wrote some of the blog (you'll notice the lack of speed on the days when I actually did something compared to the lazy days).  But mostly I just sat there, watching the waves.

Make sure to have a good beach bag.  The Doctor Who Experience bag was a good beach bag.
Ok, so seriously, I didn't know I could just sit there, watching the waves.  When I first sat down at the cabana on Friday, I hooked in my iPhone and listened to some podcasts while I read In Style.  By the time Monday rolled around, I was staring at the beach, no book, no audio.  Maybe that's the meditation working??  Maybe it's just that I needed nothing but what was in front of me at the time.  All I know was this was everything I needed.

I'm not a frothy drink person, but this was perfect.
Danielle came by around the time I was getting ready to leave the cabana.  There was one thing I had to do today.  It had been mentally planned for 10 years.  I was going to the spa.

When I turned 30, I had been back in Chicagoland for a few years and was still getting all figured out with my job.  My Quarter Life Crisis hit when I was 27 (losing your job and not know what you wanted to do with your life will do that to you), but 30 was still daunting.  My birthday present from the family was a spa day.  Ten years (and much more disposable income to my name) later, more spa time was in order.  

Beach Selfie.  My hair has never looked better...
So what exactly did I do??  I went with a massage with reflexology and a facial for my afternoon present.  Spa time is always lovely, though I think the masseuse at my chiropractor does a better job.  Maybe because she and I talk tattoos while she attacks my tight muscles.  The reflexology portion worked on my feet and thighs, which I always appreciate.  I think my guy today focused a little too much on ass work (stop it...), but it all was wonderful.

Once I was done with the massage, I was sent to the Recovery Room, where I sat and reflected on the ocean.  This part was short-lived as my facial was happening shortly thereafter.

I ended up doing more of an express facial, because of the cost.  I mean, by this point, I have spent some money at this resort.  And sometimes facials can make my skin a bit angry.  But mostly, $$$.  The only part of the facial I was disappointed in was when the aesthetician said there would be no extractions because this was express.  Argh!!  The extractions are my favorite part!!  

It really didn't matter though.  She rubbed so many different lotions and things on my face, it has to be glowing.  Well, maybe it's the tan that has started to show up.  Notice how I said tan and not sunburn??  Yeah.  I am doing SO WELL on the lack of sunburn.  My secret??  I set a timer for one hour.  After one hour, I reapply.  Now, this is only happening on the beach, not in real life (I was worried about yesterday), but it's a start!!

My stomach started growling during the facial, so I knew I couldn't spend a ton of time at the spa once my service was done.  Also, I'm not going in the steam room or sauna. That's just not my thing.  Plus, I learned a jacuzzi sounds great in theory, but I always feel like crap afterwards.  So I didn't stay too long.  I had bar services to experience.

I returned back to the cabana.  Danielle had left a few items to show we were still around.  But she returned soon after I did.  So did the waitress.  It was a frothy drink kind of time.  Considering I only drink wine and cider, this is a big deal.  I went for a piña colada.  Spoiler alert, it was so good, I then got one with strawberry.  That one was even better.  We also had the bar deliver ahi tuna nachos.  This, I had my eye on since I got here.  And it was everything we needed.  We hung here for a while and it was perfect.

Just a different type of nacho.
For a while, we were pretty focused on frothy drinks.  Two women walked by us drinking something (assumingly glorious) out of a full pineapple.  I was in love and wanted that drink.  No matter what drink it was.  When our waitress came by again, I asked about the drink.  She shook her head knowingly.

"Well," I said, "What is in it??"

"Oh, it's whatever drink you want.  In a pineapple."

I was slightly let down, but then played the "how much extra is whatever drink you want in a pineapple?" game with the waitress.

If you answered $18, you would be correct.

I did not get a drink in a pineapple.

There was one last thing in the general vicinity that I hadn't yet experienced.  The pool.  I know!!  It's sitting right there, looking so god damn inviting.  But cabana overlooking the beach!!  I couldn't drag myself away.  We had plans for tonight, so I did need to pack my crap and take a plunge.  I mean, I don't like salt water, so I wasn't dunking in the ocean.

The 10 minutes I spent in the pool was lovely.  The good part is knowing we are close to pool time at my house.  Pool time will be good this year.  Especially since now I think I have a base tan.

Now, what makes today different from the first Cabana Day, is I actually had plans for tonight.  Danielle and I were going to a luau.  But before we went, we had to clean ourselves up.  Lounging partially in the sun will make you disgusting.  And having a massage and facial will make your hair look epically bad.  Seriously.  My hair looked brown.

So tonight, we cleaned ourselves up.  I found a hairdryer (though didn't use my flat iron.  That never made its way out of my suitcase) and pulled out the makeup.  I could tell I have gotten sun because my everyday lipstick (MAC Twig, for those who care) is more "nude" than normal.  

Danielle and I were on our way to the Old Lahaina Luau.  Everyone who we talk to about going to the luau asks where are we going??  When we respond with Old Lahaina, they sigh and say yes, that's the good one.  We just had to get there.

We were downstairs in plenty of time, asking the valet guys to call us a cab.  But they were otherwise occupied.  After nearly 10 minutes, the valet came by in an Escalade.  He was driving us to the luau.  I'm not sure how that happened, but we didn't have to pay for it, so...ok!!

Obviously, this is the luau to visit, because on a Monday in May, during the not so busy time of the year, this place was filled to capacity.  When we booked this reservation, the choice was Table seating or Traditional seating.  Traditional equals "on the floor" seating.  And I went back and forth on this for a few weeks.  Eventually, I booked Traditional, because we would do have better seats for the show.  Only one person (my aesthetician this morning) said this was a good choice.  When I saw the seats, I knew we'd picked wisely.  Our seats were almost on top of the stage.  And we were one of the first tables to have dinner.

I'm sure most of the stories about luaus are the same.  You get in, wander around while pictures are taken and items are sold.  Happily, Danielle and I are in the same place picture-wise.  She's as introverted as I am (maybe more so) and group pictures that we will never buy is an activity we are not down with.  So we wandered, got some drinks and met Spencer, our server.

Side note, they did give everyone leis and a flower for behind the ear.  Unlike yesterday's plumeria, today's flower kept smelling amazing.  One of the times Spencer came by, I asked him about this fragrance.  Because, I would look for this in Sephora if I had to.  The flower is Tuberose.  And I want it in my house always.

When Spencer was telling us about the Tuberose, he also mentioned they would unveil the pig in a few minutes.  That's not a thing Danielle, the vegetarian, cared too much about, but me...let's do this.

And there's the face...
I actually got to the pit before a formal announcement was made.  If you are coming to this luau, get to the pit before the formal announcement is made.  Once the announcement is made, you'll be three deep behind the pit.  Me, I was right up front.  Not only did I see the unveiling of the pig, but I saw the Polynesian Mario Lopez take the pig out of the pit.  This guy...I don't know his story, but I followed him in every dance of the luau.  Especially the ones where he wore what amounted to a codpiece with no backdoor coverage.

He's just dreamy...
This is 40.

We grabbed all of the food.  Did you know you could make Guava Butter??  Cause I'm gonna figure that out.  I did try Poi.  It was tasteless, but Keoni, our guide from yesterday, mentioned how he adds it to meals and "smashes" it (Hawaiian for "eating everything on the plate").  Danielle asked Spencer what they do with poi.  He said the poke tuna mixed with poi is the best.  And when you add that (or the shredded pork, which could not have all come from that one pig) to poi, it changes everything.  So we tried it that way.  Not bad.  I get what they are doing there.

Not shown: the food underneath the food.
Soon enough, the show started.  It told the story of Hawaii in the form of the hula.  I don't entirely remember what happened at the start, but once the Christians "converted" the island, all of the boys started wearing shirts and pants instead of the assless codpieces.  This is why religion is bad, folks.

We ate, we drank.  The table celebrated my birthday.  It was a nice night.  But soon, it was over.  We left the luau and tried to figure out how to get home.  Danielle had a deal for a free Uber, so we tried that.  No cars available.  Happily, there was a row of cabbies ready to go.  If you can count disinterest as being ready.  Wow, these cabbies couldn't care less if they get a fare.  We did get back to the hotel in once piece.  And we began the arduous process of packing.  Packing is rough when you don't really want to go home.  But tomorrow was the day.  It would be the start of the journey back to reality.  

My birthday dessert!!
As for the actual birthday...I'm pretty sure I made the best choice to run away this year.

This is 40


  1. I love that your hair in the beach selfie looks like you have horns!!!


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